Robert De Niro on Donald Trump:”I’d like to punch him in the face”

Watch Bob De Niro go full on Jimmy Conway about Trump if you haven’t seen it yet.

I don’t care who you’re talking about, but when you call someone a punk, dog, pig, con bullshit artist, mutt, idiot, fool and a bozo — ESPECIALLY BOZO — I’m automatically on your side. Don’t need issues, policy, morals, any of that. But any list of insults that Scorsese, I’m just sold.

 

 

 

Nick Buccola

Caught Cheating Series: Part 1

If these celebs got caught cheating, here’s what they would say to their cheatees:

 

1. Rob Gronkowski – “Ohhh shit we were dating?? HAHAHA no way! Oh damn so like I totally cheated on you then? Oh wow you’re probably so mad right now hahahha that’s… Wait is that a firetruck?? Um… Babe, hang on I gotta check that out we’ll talk later!”

2. Drake – ” ‘Just wait a minute ba-baaay, I ain’t been myself late-laaay, sit down we could talk abouuut it, tell ya that I’m sorry ‘bouuut it. Neva meant to hurt you girrr-erl, stop thinkin’ bout herrr-err, you been wit me from the staa-arrrrt, other girls on my mind, other girls in my bed, but you the one in my heaa-aaart…’ and I’m gonna call it ‘Baby I’m Sorry.’ Do you think it’s good enough for the album?”

3. Oprah Winfrey – “Yeah so what? What are you gonna do, leave? Ha! Please. Bitch I’ll see you in the fourth floor bedroom in ten.”

4. Kanye West – “It’s all part of the plan, Kim, IT’S ART. ART. BITCH CAN YOU SPELL?? A.R.T. God damn, you don’t understand me at all! Out with you! I have to slaughter a goat for this new song I’m working on.”

5. Kim Kardashian West – “Okay, I know you’re mad right now, but think about this” *Turns around. Points at ass*

6. Hillary Clinton – “YUP. That’s right! And he didn’t even work for me and he wasn’t even fat! Maybe YOU are the one who should ‘get tested just to be safe.’ You know what, I’m done with this conversation. Suck my dick Bill, I’ve got an election to win.

7. Donald Trump – “Cheating… cheating. You wanna talk about cheating?… You know who is really cheating? Chin-er. And ISIS. And Secretary Clinton. Chin-er, ISIS, Hillary Clinton, hmmm. You connect the dots.” *holds for applause*

8. Andrew Luck – (fighting tears) “It was DARK, I was CONFUSED, I was SCARED.. I think she put something in my drink! Please, I’m so so sorry, I’m never going out again!”

9. Madison Bumgarner – “Darlin’, hush. She had been a fine steer — real fine — for us for three long years and you know that. I wanted to give her one last treat and she enjoyed the hell out of it. Now say grace so we can eat ‘er up.”

10. Jim Harbaugh  – (In a hand written letter)
“Wife,
She was 19% more attractive than you and based on 45 minutes of conversation, has approximately a 34-45% better personality. I’ll get back to you with a more accurate figure on that when I have it. Her health records indicate strong, healthy bones and her incisors are exceptionally sharp. We marry in June. Attached are divorce papers that you must date, sign, initial and return no later than the 25th of October.
— James.
PS, I noticed the scratch on the family boat and matching scratch on the rear bumper of your car, both of which are under my name. A subpoena is in the mail.”

 

 

 

Nick Buccola

Ambiguous Signs Behind the Press at Debates Are What’s Making America Great Again

The all time one is PFT Commenter’s (by the way PFT you’re my hero) “Is Joe Flacco a ELITE Quarterback?” sign.

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But now we have yet another gem. Hillary meant to say “fact check him” but stumbled and it sort of came out “fat check him.” Then, some yet to be named hero in a stroke of genius sprinted to his posterboard and sharpie to document the mistake and hold it up behind Jake Tapper and co. Here’s a close up of the sign.

fat check sign.png

Thank you sir. Thank you dearly. I love this trend of signs that express no political bias, just a distraction from the shit show. People sitting at home are probably saying “get that jackass out of there, he’s taking away from my candidates points!” Well I’m sitting at home saying “good.” If you don’t know who you’re voting for yet, I’m sorry, but you’re an idiot. It’s legends like this guy making these pointless debates watchable with such timely and clever trolling.

 

 

 

 

 

Nick Buccola