The NFL vs My Bank Account: Week 9

Total money wagered: $67.25
Potential winnings: $60.00

The picks (in bold):

1. Jacksonville +7.5 @ Kansas City $16.50 to win $15.00
Jacksonville has been getting crushed. Tennessee beat them by 100 points and KC has comparable defense with better offense, not to mention Andy “I Am The Walrus” Reid. I didn’t even need to look at the spread on this one.

2. Detroit +6.5 @ Minnesota: $10.50 to win $11.00
Not ultra confident about this one, but if Stafford can light it up for at least a quarter or two and Detroit can do what the Eagles and Bears did to the Vikings’ injury stricken O-line, I love ’em getting almost a touchdown.

3. Denver pick ’em @ Oakland: $26.25 to win $25.00
Carr is the man, and has served me well this year, but I just don’t think he’s quite good enough to beat that Denver D outright. If they were getting any points I’d consider the Raiders, but I like the Broncos to take this one in my kinda sorta lock of the week.

4. Philadelphia +3 @ New York Football Giants: $14.00 to win $10.00
Reallllly feels like a trap, but I can’t stay away from a potential constant-scrambling Eli at the hands of the Eagles top 5 if not top 3 D line. Phili is legit this year, and hungry as they may be, I can’t say the same for NY.

5. Pittsburgh +2.5 @ Baltimore
Don’t have the option to bet on this game on any of my sites, but I like this game a lot and will throw down on the Steelers if it becomes available for me closer to kickoff. With or without Big Ben, Pittsburgh has looked pretty good. Their defense is porous, but their offensive weapons can guarantee them quite a few points against the Ravens’ less than stellar D.


I don’t like this week much at all as you can tell by my wagers. So many of these lines feel like Vegas traps and I just need the weekly lock of the Patriots to get me cocky. Lots of solid games which often means not solid betting games. We’ll see tomorrow.




Nick Buccola

Betting on TNF

I’ll have my regular NFL vs My Bank Account post up tomorrow, but since I’ve got money down on tonight’s game, I wanted to post the pick before kickoff.

Jacksonville +3 @ Tennessee $22.00 to win $20.00
Simply put, I don’t think Bortles can get it done against the Titans’ solid defense, especially in Tennessee. Plus, I love integer lines because if it does come down to a Tennessee field goal win, all I have to do is kiss my sister. And need I say it’s gotta be tough to win in the liver disease color rush jerseys.





Nick Buccola

PS Never betting on the Titans again because of how many tries it took me each time to spell Tennessee. I know there are 2 Ns 2 Ss and a capital T, but apparently my fingers don’t.

The NFL vs My Bank Account: Week 7 Results

Week 7 Record: 4-1

Net Earnings: +$79.00 (not including parlay)

1. Washington +1 @ Detroit $16.50 to win $15.00 – Win

2. San Diego +6.5 @ Atlanta: $11.00 to win $1o.00 – Loss

3. Oakland pick ’em @ Jacksonville: $11.00 to win $10.00 – Win

4. Seattle +2 @ Arizona: $17.75 to win $15.00 – Win

5. New England -7.5 @ Pittsburgh: $61.00 to win $50.00 – Win

I feel… Weird. This is… odd. Am I good at this? The numbers indicate I am, but that just doesn’t feel right. I feel like Clayton Kershaw throwing 5 scoreless in the playoffs. Or Barry Bonds passing a drug test. Just like “uhh… Yeah… That was me, I meant to do that… nothing weird going on here…” *tugs collar* The New England and Seattle picks were very dicey at points, but then Rob Gronkowski and Chandler Catanzaro existed. And I would have won a shitload if it weren’t for those meddling Falcons blowing a massive lead. Fumble 6 and you lose the game? Come on. The football Gods are furious with you. So 4 and 1, maybe bet with me before the four horsemen show up. I’m feeling confident, which is a great sign I’m about to completely fucking melt down over the next few weeks. We’ll just have to find out.

Season Record: 7-2-1

Season Earnings: +$56.50




Nick Buccola

The NFL vs My Bank Account: Week 7

Total money wagered: $110.50 (not including $4.51 to win $110 parlay)
Potential winnings: $95.00 ($205 w/ parlay win — Yeah right…)

The picks (in bold):

1. Washington +1 @ Detroit $16.50 to win $15.00
The Washington Racists (new nickname) defense has been a little disappointing, and Stafford has been the opposite. I think Cousins has a big game, but simply, Stafford has a bigger one. I like the small line given Detroit’s momentum.

2. San Diego +6.5 @ Atlanta: $11.00 to win $1o.00
Atlanta should be good, and they finally are. I think they win by a TD at least. They almost beat Seattle’s staunch defense last week, and they face a not even fake-good, but rather fake-decent San Diego defense this week.

3. Oakland pick ’em @ Jacksonville: $11.00 to win $10.00
Jacksonville fucks up all the time and Carr has a chip on his shoulder after that KC loss. I think this is the game that gets Oakland rolling again.

4. Seattle +2 @ Arizona: $17.75 to win $15.00
I almost never bet against AZ cus they usually cover, and I never bet on Seattle because I hate them so. But the Seahawks getting points is too hard to resist, and my crystal ball has Carson Palmer having a little meltdown this week. Plus, Russell Wilson knowing his boys can swim and feeling honored to be able to do god’s work (procreate, procreate, procreate, no sex for fun) could give him a little boost.

5. New England -7.5 @ Pittsburgh: $11.00 to win $10.00
***5.1 New England -7 @ Pittsburgh: $50.00 to win $40.00
At one point, when Big Ben was still kinda sorta questionable, the line was -7 and I couldn’t resist getting down given the John 3:16 of gambling (The Pats always cover) and my confidence that rapist was going to be on the sideline. -7 or -7.5 this is still my mortal lock of the week. My only concern is that the line is way lower than I’d expect it to be, and that screams Vegas knowing something we don’t. Still, I just can’t imagine the red hot Pats not slaughtering the Steeler’s inconsistent offense and consistently bad defense.




Nick Buccola

The NFL vs My Bank Account: Week 6 Results

Shocker, I fuckin’ lost.

Record: 3-1-1

Net Earnings: -$22.50 (not including parlay)

How it went down:

1. Jacksonville +1.5 @ Chicago: $5.75 to win $5.00 –  Win

2. Cincinnati +9.5 @ New England: $16.50 to win $15.00 – Win

3. Dallas +4 @ Green Bay: $57.50 to win $50.00 – Loss

4. New York Jets +7 @ Arizona: $17.75 to win $15.00 – Win

5. Indianapolis +3 @ Houston: $15.75 to win $15.00 – Push

Of course, I actually make good picks, but my one loss completely fucks me. *Betting tip: Look at my “mortal lock,” and take the opposite. Simple equation, guaranteed money. Hey Aaron Rodgers, do I look like Olivia Munn? No? Then why did you fuck me like I was your everything? After this painful loss, I’m fully on Dak’s jock like the rest of America. Great opportunity to help me lose some money next week when I let my emotional hangover bet on him.

There’s little else to say. Arizona and New England always cover, I got extremely lucky with Jacksonville, and maybe luckier getting that push outta Brock Osweiler in OT.

Like I said, off to a strong start losing 22.50. Just where I’m comfortable: in the red. I’ll keep a running tally and put it at the bottom of these, starting now.


Season Earnings: -$22.50




Nick Buccola

P.S. Week 7 picks will be up before TNF if I’m betting on TNF, if not, they will be up before Sunday.

The NFL vs My Bank Account: Week 6

Total money wagered: $112.75 (not including $4.29 to win $100 parlay)

The picks (in bold):

1. Jacksonville +1.5 @ Chicago: $5.75 to win $5.00
Why do I put money on Blake Bortles? Yeah I showed some restraint keeping it to six bucks, but why? Just why? When your only answer is to add another team to your parlay, you’ve got yourself a bad answer.

2. Cincinnati +9.5 @ New England: $16.50 to win $15.00
Gronk back, Tom back, Bengals D has been shit, and the Patriots always cover. How could this go wrong? I guess we’ll find out.

3. Dallas +4 @ Green Bay: $57.50 to win $50.00
My mortal lock of the week. Please A-Rod, please prove to me that you can beat Dak at Lambo by more than a field goal. It’s just not that hard.

4. New York Jets +7 @ Arizona: $17.75 to win $15.00
Arians with a chip on his shoulder helps me bank on a chance Fitzmagic will throw double digit picks.

5. Indianapolis +3 @ Houston: $15.75 to win $15.00
I’ve just consistently lost so much on Indianapolis, this is basically to spite them.

There it is. At the end of the day I’ll report how I did. And next time, the picks will be in before the games start.




Nick Buccola