So… The Cubs Kind of Did Everything I Told Them to…

I wrote this right before the game started. I’ll quote and address each of my points.

“1. Duh. Win game 2. You basically have to.”

Check. Big ole floppin’ check there.

 “2. Get a run off Miller. That would get the team so juiced, and the opposition so anti-juiced, it could really help the momentum.”

Didn’t get the chance. A wash. To be continued…

“3. Jake Arrieta, be Jake Arrieta. Do your Madison Bumgarner impression like you did last year.”

5 hitless and only 1 ER, yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and give that one a check.

“4. It doesn’t have to be Kluber, but embarrass an Indians starting pitcher. I think it would remind the Cleveland Racists and baseball fans that youhave the best run differential, not them. You have the MVP, you have the Cy Young, not them.”

I didn’t think it was even possible to embarrass a total and complete boner like Trevor Bauer, but getting pulled before completing the fourth inning did it. It wasn’t an absolute shellacking but those rosy cheeks got a little rosier tonight. Check.

“5. Maybe the route of accomplishing tip #4, Schwarber hit a ball 5,000 feet. Ideally at Wrigley pinch hitting. If that big, lovable clutch idiot can hit a how-is-he-not-juicing no doubt bat flip bomb, I think you can really freak out Cleveland.”

Well, he didn’t go yard, but he did murder it tonight knocking two in. I like me a lot so I’m just gonna give me that check anyway. Plus, he still has plenty of time to take an Indian deep, especially now that they’re headed to that little league ballpark they call home.

After that, you’ve gotta be a hell of a lot more confident about the Cubs than you were before first pitch, I sure am.




Nick Buccola