Move over bible, cus George Brett just told the greatest story ever told. Spoiler: It’s about shitting his pants in Vegas.
Somehow this video has about 584,000 views, which is whatever forty billion minus 584k is short of what it deserves.
Background: George Brett was an All-Star 13 times in a row. He batted .305 over his 21 year career (a career in which he only wore one color: Royals blue). One of those years he batted .390. Three fucking ninety. So even if he was kind of a boner, I think I’d give him a free pass. But boner my friends, he is not. Watch that man confidently, eloquently, and hilariously tell a story centered around a surprise No. 2, and tell me he isn’t in the running for sickest dudes of all time (probably a blog series I’ll have to do eventually). You can’t.
The old lady in Billy Madison said “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.” Well I’d like to offer up “If pooping your pants is cool, call me George Brett” Which another spoiler here: it officially is.
If I ever met George Brett in person, I would definitely poop my pants. Apparently he thinks it’s funny and that’s enough for it to be worth a shit (not a typo, get it?). That or I would be so nervous in the presence one of the best hitters and shitters in MLB history that I involuntarily mimicked the courageous and legendary act discussed in the above video.
Enjoy, because it’s impossible not to.