Okay let’s hit some ground rules first.
Smash hits = Touchdowns.
Quality music = Yards.
Music made = Receptions.
Great features = 2-point conversions.
Bad music = Fumbles.
So, given these parameters, here are your top 10 fantasy choices and their football equivalents if you want to win your hip hop league this season.
- Drake – Hits, good music, churns it out. He could be your Antonio Brown, your Julio Jones, but final answer, he’s your OBJ because cus I could see Drizzy crying if an album failed. Projected 16 a week, totally matchup proof. His team goes for two and gets it every time. Drake scores in 8’s. Rarely fumbles anymore.
- Kendrick Lamar – Yards, yards, yards. A little injury trouble, he doesn’t come out with music that often, but every time he does it’s gold. Plenty of hits, but that’s not his main contribution. Kendrick is like a Demarco Murray type. Expect him to score, but mainly he’s just racking up triple digit yards, 2 point conversions and 10 points a week guaranteed. Unreal ball protection. Consistency at its finest.
- Future – The undisputed king of megahits, the most expensive features, the man — for a very long time. But now he’s starting to look a bit cold, even a bit old. Certainly has the smash hit and quality music potential. Once he’s back he’ll be back in a big way, but there’s a decent chance he’s nearly done, making him our Adrian Peterson.
- Kanye West – At one time, he’d be at the top of the list. Makes bangers, low-key high-quality music, and crushes features. Plus he’s been doing it forever. Like Larry Fitzgerald, he has you asking “when the hell is this guy gonna get old?”
- Nicki Minaj – Easy. Rob Gronkowski. In a different “position” than the rest of the top 10 (get it aren’t I clever? Say I’m clever right now just do it) but the undisputed queen. While female rappers might not be quite as popular as male ones, she’s worth lots of TD’s, targets/receptions, and she’s definitely who you’re going to when you’re going for two.
- J. Cole – Arian Foster. C’mon that’s a good call. “Injured” a lot (takes his time with his music) but when he’s in-on the booth-field, he can be comfortably the best in the game. Plus, I have always thought they look a bit alike.
- Big Sean – Hasn’t been HUGE in about a season, but you still know he’s a star, capable of leading the genre in hits when he wants to and while he takes breaks, he doesn’t really make bad music. Therefore, I’m gonna give B.I.G. Le’Veon Bell.
- Young Thug – Unpredictable, boom-or-bust, scores a lot. Has had huge years and huge games, but experiences ups and downs. Certainly a bit of a problem with ball security. If Thugger were in the NFL, he’d be Devonta Freeman.
- Fetty Wap – Todd Gurley. Blew your fucking mind originally, now questions are being asked.
- Desiigner – Newcomer off to a hot start. Big expectations that he’s reaching so far, we’ll see if it continues to pay off, Cotton. Ezekiel Elliot.
Okay, this was actually really fun. I know I know, the comparisons aren’t perfect and the rankings are probably off as well. But if you guys like this, I’d definitely be up for a round two, even turning this into a series. Maybe a 10-20 ranking, maybe different fantasy sports comparisons, different parameters/organization, who knows? I sure liked making this, I hope you like reading it.