The 5 Weakest Handshakes
5. Bill Belichick – Old sour Bill DEFINITELY hits you with the dead fish. Just to throw you off your game. Not because he can’t shake hard, because you expect him to shake hard. A Jedi mind trick. Is he going frail? Does this mean we could beat the Pats? Am I just not good enough for a real BB handshake? What’s wrong with me? That’s exactly what he wants, a flurry of questions to rattle his opponent.
4. Bruce Arians – 20%, he’s a nerd. Nerds lose handshakes. But the vast majority, the remaining 80%, he’s just not in shape to be giving hard shakes. I’m sure his doctor told him to avoid heavy exercise. Gripping AND shaking could put him back in the hospital.
3. Doug Pederson – Too sweet. Too Smiley. Not angry enough.
2. John Harbaugh – Simple, baby bro has broken…
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